Back to school: Jitters or not

Back to school: Jitters or not

Going back to school can be an exciting time for kids and their parents: opening new school supplies; seeing friends again; or having a little more peace and quiet around the house. Usually, the new school year brings lots of new adventures and changes: a brand-new grade, teacher, or class. Some things might be known, however there can also be many changes and transitions happening at the start of every school year.

Changes, no matter if they are big or small, can bring moments of uncertainty, which can lead to heightened anxiety. Consequently, having some anticipatory stress or anxiety can be normal under these circumstances. It is also important to remember that some bigger transitions might take a little longer to adjust to: moving from elementary to middle school, from preschool to the big school or moving to college. The jitters typically die down when the unfamiliar becomes more familiar.

Children often thrive on structure and find comfort in a familiar routine, which can often be hard to uphold during the summer months. Therefore, one of the best ways to start preparing for the transition of going back to school, is to get back into a routine. This can naturally reduce stress as it often prepares us for what’s to come.
If your child is very nervous about starting or returning to school, there are some practical things we could do to help with some back-to-school nerves. Visiting the school, e.g. spending some time on the playground, or going on a “dry run” (walk the halls or visit the classroom), can be a helpful exercise. Repetition can also give them a chance to become comfortable with the new routine. Encourage things like, practicing setting your clothes out the night before, making lunches, or walking to the bus stop. Try to get back to a regular sleep routine a week or so before school starts, so that the shift to the school routine will be easier.

Here are some tips on how to support when my child might be struggling with more than just
jitters:

• Start of by being curious about their experience, rather than judgmental
• Actively listen and try to understand their fears – rather than dismissing their fears, e.g. “you’ll be fine” or “there’s nothing to be worried about”
• Validate anxieties about the transition, e.g. saying things like: “it makes sense that you might be feeling anxious” or “I know this is hard”
• Do not jump in with a solution. Not all problems need fixing.
• Show that you’re not scared that your child is having difficult feelings. The idea is that all feelings are okay (although not all behaviors)
• Take your own temperature – try not to share your anxieties e.g. parents can often feel caught up in their children’s social lives (for good reasons – you want to see them happy or see them making friends), however being too involved can increase anxiety in some
  kids.

When does my child’s anxiety or fear become more than back to school jitters?

Signs to look out for:

Keep the timeframe in mind – How long have your child been struggling? Has it been
more than a few weeks or a month?

• Look at areas of how afraid or anxious your child is 1) before school e.g., how difficult is your goodbyes; is your child upset, clinging or crying does not get better or
• When your child comes home e.g., are they talking about school worries; or when they’re going to
  bed, are they thinking or worrying about going to school the next day
• How is it impacting your child’s functioning e.g., persistent stomach aches, headaches, school refusal, or how is it impacting your family life e.g., struggling every day to get out
  the door (more than before).
• Look out for changes in your child’s eating or sleeping patterns.
• Is your child still taking part in the things that he/she loves or interested in?
• Don’t ignore problems – be your child’s advocate. Many schools have caring teachers and administrators that could be great resources. It’s better to say something sooner rather than later.

An important fact to remember is to trust your instincts as parents, you are the experts on your children!